Let me just lay it on the table…dating over 50 sucks. At no time in my life did I ever think I would be saying that. Now, I’m faced with my mortality and thoughts of dying alone.
Let me briefly run through my dating tales, and maybe you have some thoughts to share.
1. The grabber – I took the advice of a girlfriend and met a friend of her husbands’ for dinner. The conservation was nice, the drinks were coming much more quickly than I had expected and I was enjoying this man’s company. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I was returning, the guy stood up, grabbed me around the waist and planted a huge kiss on me. I was quite shocked! I decided at that point that I had better put my guard up a bit more. After dinner, it got worse. He walked me to my car and proceeded to ask me if I would go home with him. Seriously? I told him I was offended that he thought I would jump into bed with him so quickly and that he needed to let me leave. He pinned me against my car and at that point I started to feel scared. Good news…I was able to get into my car and drive away without incident.
2. The distant one – I met a wonderful man through a couple I spend time with. He was kind, thoughtful and seemed genuinely interested in me. I gave him my number and never heard from him except an occasional message on Facebook. Fast forward 8 months, I decided to ask him out. I figured I had nothing to lose and he could always say no. But he didn’t. We went out twice and then several weeks went by without a word from him. I reached out again via text message and we attended a party together. Then more time went by and I didn’t hear from him. I texted him and asked if we could talk. I met him at his house and we talked for hours. I really felt comfortable with this man and could see myself having a long-term relationship with him. Again…more time passed without hearing from him. Finally I got a long message on Facebook. In a nutshell, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Really? Wow, even over 50 they use that excuse.
3. The narcissist – This story is short and simple. He talked about himself the entire date, rarely could I get a word in edgewise and he didn’t seem to be interested in me or what I had to say. At the end of the date, he hugged me and said, “Nice to meet you, Ann.”
4. The iPhone addict – Hello? I’m over here. See me across the table?
5. The guys who won’t date me – This is a large group of men over 50. They want women half their age, with plastic boobs and a tight ass. I don’t workout daily or even weekly for that matter. My boobs are real and they aren’t perky. I have a brain and I’m not afraid to use it.
6. The guys I won’t date – Any man on a dating website. I’ve heard horrible dating stories, much worse than my own, from girlfriends who have used these dating sites. All of them have told me that they spent money and found no one they would ever meet for a second cup of coffee. Oh and if you’re reading this and considering joining a dating site, DON’T! My girlfriend dated a guy she met on match.com for months before she found out he was a convicted sex offender.
7. My doctor – OK, I know….but he’s so cute! Last time I went in to get my arthritis meds changed, he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. Divorced? I was too afraid to ask. He also just hit the over 50 mark. I guess he has my number (in my chart) if he ever wants to ask me to dinner.
So I’m in need of advice. Everyone tells me I have to “put myself out there” to meet men. Put myself out where? I work all day and most of the night. I don’t do clubs, bars, bowling alleys or grocery stores. I juggle being a single mom and traveling to see my parents as often as I can. Maybe I’m just meant to be alone. Hopefully I’ll have a super hot male nurse when I take my last breath.